The stud: Shaquille O'Neal is indeed everything. No him no finals. Everybody wants him, and is pretty sure every good thing would be more abundant with the Daddy around.
The thoroughbred: Kobe Bryant brings home the prize a lot of times, the race horse, well trained, well bred, made only of the finest of qualities, and in terms of basketball he's been taught or (self-taught) every possible skill. He's not everything but you need him to complement the stud. Without the stud there's zero, zip, but without your prized galoper you won't have everything.
The mustang: Sometimes gets rough with his defense. Rick Fox is perhaps the wildest Laker (if there's any; Scott Pollard would've been a better fit though) you can find. In fact Fox's hair says it all.
The clydesdales: They were bred out of necessity by farmers to carry crops. Phil Jackson unleashes Derek Fisher and Robert Horry out of necessity to fill up the tin during moments of tension. They're very alert and conscious.
The quarter horses: No we didn't make this name up. Quarter horses have exceptional speed for short distances. Devean George, Samaki Walker, Brian Shaw, Lindsey Hunter, and Stanislav Medvedenko just like the name says are literally quarter horses. They relieve the others for one quarter (or part of) at a time.
The foal: Mitch Richmond has found that the effects of aging can be brutal. Truth is he was actually a world class stud himself. He can still stroke in a good 15 a night if given a chance. Since it seems his career has a taken a new turn, and has basically started over, that makes him the foal here.
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The stallion: He's both the stud and the thoroughbred. He leads this crew to the pasture and watches over it as it grazes. In L.A if either Kobe or Shaq just happened to be abducted by aliens, the Staples Center would still be open for the playoffs. If such happened to Jason Kidd in the Meadowlands, everything would be just like the good old days.
The mustang: Kenyon Martin is it. If 2 + 2 isn't 4, then somebody else deserves this label.
The lipizzans: They're pretty horses. Keith Van Horn and Kerry Kittles, have some fine skills, indeed. When they're on, they will have you in awe, and inspired. They will look so good you'll wish you could do what they do. However, at this point in their careers (5th season each) (Kittles missed all of last season) you would have expected them to develop some serious skills to complement the natural talent.
The quarter horses: Todd MacCulloch, Aaron Williams and Lucious Harris. They're only required to do part of the work. Or they're only given a limited time to do their work. Either way you look at it, they don't play the whole game.
The Colts: Richard Jefferson, and Jason Collins are rookies still, and no matter how good or bad they perform in these finals no expectations have been met yet. They have some ways to go to become thoroughbreds and stallions.
The one-trick ponnies:
Donny Marshall and Brian Scalabrine surely have more than a single trick up their sleeves, but right now there's only one trick Coach Byron Scott is asking of them: to make believe they would rather be seating than be playing.
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